This summer Red Bull has shut down its State College marketing program to the disappointment of Penn State students. The closure has ruined many aspects of student life, social and educational. Half way through the fall semester, the effects have become apparent. Never before has the Penn State undergraduate population faced such a hurdle.
Already this semester, drinking is at an all time low. Never before has a school lost its Princeton Review #1 party school ranking so quickly. Students used to rely on Red Bull as their mixer, chaser and all around pregame drink. As Venessea Wighetton explains, the low supply of free Red Bull has ruined the party experience at Penn State.
I cannot drink vodka without it(Red Bull). Every time I do go out, everyone is so depressed and numb. No one has any energy. And it is so expensive that no one can afford it.
-Venessa Wighetton, Junior – Education
Partying is not the only victim of the lack of Red Bull. Without free drinks high in sugar and caffeine students are having trouble staying awake to study. Students are finding it more difficult to pull those important all nighters. Test grades have slumped and so has the amount of competed homework. At this rate, giant curves will be assigned even for art classes.
Some students like Russel Vick have gone to great lengths to get their fix.
I could not stay awake to study and my grades were slipping, so I got a job at Uni-Mart to help pay for Red Bull. It went well until I was fired when a bunch of kids raided the cooler for all the Red Bull… I had fallen asleep on the counter.
- Russel Vick, Sophomore – Kinesiology
With every sad story, there is often a glimmer of hope… this time it is coffee. Coffee sales have been on the rise however, many students have yet to switch over to coffee. When asked why they don’t supplement their diets with coffee instead of Red Bull, most claim the lack of professional athletes that ride for coffee.
Penn State officials have recognized the problem but have declined to give further comments. It is rumored that Penn State has even considered subsidizing the famous drink. Their plan of action is unknown, but the longer they wait, the more the students will suffer.
*This article is an exaggeration about the abandonment of the Red Bull Marketing Program in State College. Its place in time is the middle of the Fall semester 2009.*
Looks like I graduated at just the right time. I would have been crushed.
P.S. I’ve been paying for Red Bull for nearly 8 months now. It sucks!!
Hey, remember me from camp, i was the one filming week 10 at the snoasis, well the edit is almost finished but how am i going to send it to you, reply back.. pce